To say that the Lord allows things in my life to "get me through" each week, is quite the understatement! To be exact, and in simply day of the week order, this is what makes me happy about each day:
Monday: Cody's Day off, Cody cooking me dinner, The Hills at 10pm
Tuesday: The Furnace, Our College Small Group that meets at our house!!
Wednesday: YOUTH GROUP at the church office and Project Runway!!
Thursday: Cody leads worship practice at the BCM and I grocery shop and cook dinner :) *and soon to be "The Office"!!!
Friday: It's friday, let's be serious--that's reason enough!
Saturday: Blacksburg's Fresh Market, COLLEGE FOOTBALL
Sunday: Church at Northstar! Listening and Watching my Husband lead worship!
So, all that to say, my week (only after 8-5) is fantastic! But, it is usually at a few of these events that I'm truly fed! One of the most difficult things in ministry is that you're constantly being poured out, having to pour out to others that you have to SPECIFICALLY dedicate times where YOU are poured into (mentoring is amazing too! I'm desperately looking for one in Blacksburg!!) Anyways, one thing that has surprised me is how much Cody and I pour into one another--well atleast Him pouring into me, encouraging me and setting me "straight" when I'm getting out of line! I know that may sound shocking to y'all, but I didnt think it would be as intense as it truly is. Cody calls us each others "dipstick", where we check each other and help one another regulate our Spritial lives to keep us going strong!
Well, one Tuesday night in particular, Cody was teaching the college group about being a servant in life. He made a statement that rocked my world. "Let's stop viewing church as a movie. We show up 10 minutes before it starts to get some food, then we sit through "the feature presentation", maybe we'll laugh, cry or clap, but then we leave. Not engaging with fellow believers, not giving of ourselves for the body of Christ. We're just Church movie-goers".
I heard that and I immediately went to the Kitchen (where i keep a magnetic pad of paper on the fridge) and wrote it down. It struck a cord deep within me. I was a church movie-goer ALL through college, but i justified it. "I'm too busy", "I dont want to start helping out then leave them high and dry when i have to leave", "i dont know anyone". All just ridiculous excuses, but they worked for me. I saw Church as only a place for ME to get what I want! Not, for me to be filled and to give of myself.
It's funny how God truly puts us in our place. Now, i'm not only giving but I feel I'm giving more than I know I have. Being a "pastor's wife" is no easy task--you're under such srutiny and for someone who has just recently been thrusted in the position, it's somewhat offsetting. But, it's wonderful too!! It has made Cody and I as close as we've ever been, it's given us such confidence in our marriage and such love for one another; knowing were goign through the same thing and same trials and struggles. We are not simply movie goers anymore; we are the ushers, we are the popcorn stand, we are the theatre. I know that's slighly abstract, but when you truly engage in the body of Christ, you declare ownership. You understand that this life is NOT your own, that Christ using you will keep this body going, no one else. It's really quite liberating in your faith.
My father has owned his own business for 20 years, this year. He has said counteless times, "When the business is yours, you care so much more than if you're simply an employee. You have more to lose, more to give and much more at stake than one of your employees. Business owning is NEVER easy, but it's worth it because it's yours." What if we thought of our faith like that? It's never easy, but it's worth it because it's OURS! It's OUR Jesus they mock, it's OUR faith they strive to disprove, it's OUR religion they say is a crutch. I only pray I can fully grasp the ownership of my faith. I fail God each and every day by simply being His "employee", when in all reality... I'm a Co-Heir!