It's Saturday night and my weekend is starting to wind down. I'm laying in our big bed and just relaxing, reading and now surfing the web. I have this feeling so strong, i miss my mom. I know it sounds somewhat silly coming from a 25 year old wife with a full time job and involved in more things than she can count, but it's in moments like these, when I start to unwind and clear away everything on my "to-do" list that this feeling comes back.
My mom has become my best friend, well aside from Cody, but we have made the successful transition from parent child to two friends. A transition that didn't take too much work, and has become so sweet. Yes, of course she will still be my mom and I, her child, but our relationship has deepened.
I guess it makes sense that I've been missing my mom lately, tomorrow, after all, is Mother's Day...so it fits.
I'm lying in bed right now and just wishing she was with me, talking with me and probably giving me advice, talking about life and family, the future and our relationships with Christ, chatting about clothes and more importantly how to put outfits together. Just thinking about this makes my eyes all misty.
I miss my best friend.
I took all those Christmas and Summer and Spring vacations for granted when I HAD to come home. (Don't feel too sorry for me, "home" is in Florida, so my breaks were moments in paradise.) But, it's funny how you miss the small things when you can't just up and leave. I miss my mom and dad picking me up at the airport, mom and I going to great little cafe's for lunch, shopping for the PERFECT outfit (p.s. doesn't exist, but a great excuse to tell dad we have to keep shopping), sitting in the living room watching mindless TV, waking up early and finding my parents doing their Devo's by the fireplace and getting to hear them share what God's revealing to them. Oh just thinking of it fills my heart.
Don't get me wrong, I'm so happily married it makes most people sick, but it's something about the beginning of a marriage, especially when you've come from a family like mine that a little piece of you seems to be missing when you aren't all together. It's as if I'm only 99% here, and the 1% is left in Florida, with her.
To say I have a perfect mom, I would not. No one is perfect and though her and I both would like to think we are (we are much more similar than I ever though to realize), we both know the reality... that we're flawed. Her and I fight, get upset, vent and definitely annoy the junk out of each other, but instead of wishing it were different, it makes me so happy because those types of flaws come to relationships that are real, honest, genuine and transparent. That's us.....a couple of glass houses.
This woman has taught me more about sacrifice, love and nurturing than I will ever really know. She gave me my love for cooking and my love for hospitality. She showed me kindness to strangers and respect to everyone. She is the woman I admire and aspire to become. She is my mom.
i love you mom and it pains my heart so much that I won't be with you tomorrow. I hope I can be half the mom you were to me and justin. hugs and many kisses.
-your baby girl, LaRae.
